Not Your Average Tooth Fairy
by Midnight-Snow-Serenade
Summary: First time that Alice has ever lost a tooth.  First attempt at humor


**AN: First fic in general, but... first hand at a humorous fic ever.**

_Not Your Average Tooth Fairy_

The gang was taking a break from their memory search. Alice was busily eating away at a large plate of meat when she felt a sharp pain in her mouth. Letting out a light whimper, Alice rubbed at the irritated spot of her jaw. Swallowing the meat she had in her mouth, Alice grudgingly decided to ask Oz about the pain.

"Oi! Manservant! I can't enjoy my meat with this pain in my mouth," Alice yelled, leaning back in her chair with her feet on the table.

The blond haired boy looked over at the girl from where he was sitting with the next copy of Holy Knight. Thinking for a moment, Oz knew exactly what Alice was asking. "It seems that you either have a toothache or a loose tooth. Try sticking your hand in your mouth and wiggle the tooth where the pain is. If it moves, than you have a loose tooth."

Alice, for once listening to her servant, poked around in her mouth at the sore spot. Immediately her hand shot out of her mouth. "It moved!" She squealed with surprise, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Never had a loose tooth before?" Oz said with a chuckle.

"Not that I can remember," Alice said with annoyance. "What do I do about it though? It doesn't seem normal that your teeth fall out of your mouth, I mean, you need your teeth to eat meat. Will I lose all of my teeth and be forced to never eat meat again?"

Alice said the last part with a sad puppy dog face, feeling utterly sincere misery at that thought. Oz couldn't help how he responded, he just laughed at Alice's overly dramatic display. "What's going on in here?" Gil asked as he entered the room.

"Ah Gil! Alice here has a loose tooth. I'm trying to explain the whole thing to her," Oz said with a smile. Even though Alice was rubbing at her face, she still flashed a look of annoyance at Oz for telling seaweed-head about her problems.

"I always knew she was a stupid rabbit, but this just really proves it," Gil said, sighing as he sat down on a couch opposite of where Oz was sitting.

"Shut up seaweed-head! It's not my fault that I haven't had a loose tooth before," Alice said, shooting deathly glares at the raven-haired man.

"Did you get to the part about how the tooth fairy takes the fallen teeth of children?" Gil said, somehow managing to ignore Alice's death glares, even though they sent chills down his spine. Sheepishly, Oz rubbed at the back of his head. "I was just getting there," Oz said.

"What is this tooth fairy? Is it a chain? What does it want with teeth? I don't want something like that anywhere near me," Alice said in a huff, crossing her arms.

"Will you just shut up and calm down so that Oz can finish with the explanation? I don't want to have to stay in the same room as you more than necessary," Gil snapped, his eyebrow twitching.

Alice glared at Gil, opening her mouth to say something surely sharp. However, Oz interrupted her by continuing with the explanation. "You see, the tooth fairy is a little person with glittery wings and is very pretty. She takes the unneeded baby teeth of children and exchanges it for something else, like money. Oh, and she also only comes at night because that's when children are sleeping and she won't get caught. I don't think she is a chain since she doesn't kill the children, but she might actually do something more to them. I thought that I felt-"

_Whack_. During Oz's whole speech, Alice had stomped over to him. Unaware of the impending doom, he was thoroughly shocked when he felt a foot kick him in the head. "You've obviously thought about this a lot," Alice said as Oz rubbed at his throbbing head.

"Maybe a little too much?" Gil added, shocked by what might have been said by Oz if Alice hadn't stopped him.

"How am I suppose to get the tooth out of my mouth?" Alice asked, her face clearly showing her annoyance at the insistent pain. At this Gil grinned evilly, because now was the time to get payback on the stupid rabbit.

"I have some ideas," Gil said as he got up and looked around the room. Both Alice and Oz watched him as he searched the room. "What are you doing seaweed-head? I'm pretty sure that you're not gonna be able to find manga anywhere in here."

Now at this, Gil turned a bright shade of pink. Shakily, he turned his head toward Alice. "How did you know about that?"

"You shouldn't leave your things just lying around where anyone can find them," Alice said with a smirk. Gil was about to say something before he paused and thought. "Wait a minute! I had those hidden in my pillowcase so they weren't out in the open! You snooping little rabbit! I'll-"

"You'll do nothing," Alice said confidently as she lifted up her chin. "Because then I would tell Oz all about how those manga feature two guys having-" Hastily he ran over to Alice and slapped his hand across her mouth to stop her.

"Stop talking you stupid rabbit! No one needs to know, got it?" Gil growled as he released Alice. The girl just only smirked in response since she knew that she had him beat once again.

"Here we go," Gil said, holding some string. Raising an eyebrow, Alice was puzzled. "What are you gonna do with string? I thought you were going to get something to get this irritating tooth out of my mouth!" Instead of answering her, Gil just walked over to the door. He was quickly done with tying the string on the doorknob. "Just get over here you stupid rabbit."

Wearily Alice walked over to Gil, grumbling incoherently except for the occasional 'seaweed-head'. "Now open your mouth and tell me which tooth it is," Gil said, wondering if this idea was in fact actually bad.

Alice opened her mouth wide after spending a minute glaring at Gil. "This one, right here," she said, poking said tooth. Eye twitching, Gil wrapped the other end of the string around the tooth. Before he was able to get his hand out, Alice snapped in her mouth shut as a look of pain flashed across her face.

"GAH!" Gil screamed, trying to wrench his hand out of the girl's mouth. After flailing his arm around for a bit, Alice finally spat his hand out. "You stupid rabbit! Now I'm going to have to go and a get a rabies shot!"

"It was your fault for hurting me, seaweed-head!" Alice snarled back, eyes glittering with anger. Gil was dragged away from Alice by Oz, who knew that Gil was going to continue to argue with the girl. "Calm down Gil. Once she loses that tooth, she'll stop bothering you," Oz said, trying to coerce his friend to finish what he started.

"I guess you're right," Gil said with a sigh. "Okay, here's how this goes. Stupid rabbit, just stand there. I'm going to close the door. When I do, your tooth should be pulled out of your mouth. Got it?"

"I'm not really liking this idea now," Alice said, deciding at the last minute to try and back out. As if sensing this, Gil quickly slammed the door closed. When the door closed, Alice was catapulted at the wood. Dizzy, Alice tried to regain her balance. When she finally did, she angrily turned on Gil.

"What was that for you seaweed-head! You said the tooth would come out, not that I would get launched straight at the door! Thanks to you I'm now in even more pain!" Alice shouted, flailing her arms. Gil, however, was too busy laughing his head off.

"It still worked though," Oz said, bending down to the floor next to Alice. Smiling, he picked up the fallen tooth and showed it to the girl. "Looks like it got knocked out when you hit the door." Alice quickly snatched it out of Oz's hand, looking at the object in wonder.

"Now you just have to leave it under your pillow tonight," Oz said, going back to the couch and his book. Opening the door, Alice almost forgot about Gil. Stepping over to the doubled-over man, she kicked him in the butt as payback. She left then, leaving a wounded Gil rubbing at his butt.

* * *

><p><em>That night...<em>

Alice had just turned out the light and tucked the tooth under her pillow. Laying down, she closed her eyes. Sleep didn't come before the visiter though. Hearing something creak under her bed, Alice opened her eyes. Sitting up in the bed, she heard the creak again. Wondering what could be making that noise, she leaned over the side of the bed and peeked under.

"Hi Alice!~" Break said in a singsong voice as he appeared from under the bed. Alice screamed, jumping back from the sudden appearance of the Mad Hatter. "I heard you lost a tooth today, so I just decided to drop by and see if I could take it."

"What do you want with teeth you clown?" Alice growled out, still mad about the recent scare. Break paused before he answered. "That's unimportant. The real question is though, if you're going to give me it before or after trying to kick me out."

Taking her pillow, Alice threw it down in the hope that it would hit the clown. However, the clown seemed to have disappeared before the pillow could hit. Looking around, Alice wondered where he could have hidden. "Are you looking for me?" The voice came from right behind her.

Startled, Alice whipped around to see Break sitting on the opposite side of the bed. In his hand, she saw her tooth. "You know what? Just keep the stupid tooth and get the hell out of my room, clown." Alice snarled, her hand itching to throw something else at the Mad Hatter.

"It was a pleasure as always doing business with you, Alice~" Break sang, smiling. "Just remember that the next time you lose a tooth, you can just give it to me personally."

With that, Break slipped back under the bed. To make sure that he was in fact gone, Alice looked under the bed to find nothing unusual. Grumbling, she picked up her pillow to place it back on the bed. In the process, she saw a piece of hard candy sitting where her tooth had been. Bristling, Alice just shoved the pillow ontop of the candy before laying down and falling asleep.

* * *

><p><em>The next morning...<em>

Oz, Gil, and Alice were all sitting at the long table for breakfast that morning. Taking a huge bite at the piece of meat, Alice looked over at Oz. "So I saw the tooth fairy last night." Oz looked over at her, his mouth opened wide.

"Did she look pretty? What did she give you return? Did she give you a way to contact her or anyth-?" Oz said before having a hand clamp over his mouth. This time it was Gil that stopped Oz from continuing.

"Oh, she was pretty if you like one eye and silver hair," Alice said nonchalantly, taking another bite of meat. "You could easily find her. Just lose a tooth or make a fake one." "Okay! It's a plan!" Oz said, jumping to his feet. He ran out of the room to start working on his plan, leaving Gil and Alice alone.

"One eye and silver hair?" Gil said, looking over at Alice. "Don't tell me it's who I think it is." Grinning, Alice also got up. "It is, actually. And I can't wait till Oz finds out."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay so this was from a prompt. I saw it and I was like, oh man I gotta write this. R&amp;R! I'm gonna leave this as a one shot for now, unless another part is wanted. <strong>

**Peace~**

** Midnight-Snow-Serenade**


End file.
